Wharton Journal

Issue date: 10/6/08 Section: Perspectives

HE SAID

2nd year is sweet sweetness

Dave Larson (WG'09) Staff Writer

It seems like just a year ago, I was right there in your shoes, first years (I'm assuming you wear $400 bespoke Bruno Magli checkerboard loafers). Sure you may have a couple of classes you like, but guess what, you have 3 quarters of OPIM still ahead of you. That's like being dropped into a snake pit, but instead of snakes there are three Bengal tigers with snake heads, and the Bengal tiger snake head creatures are planning to eat you alive (and teach you how to use Solver).

Sure, first year may have more magic in it, but unfortunately it's spelled MGEC. Oh, and if you fail that class, guess where you're going for Christmas break? MGEC camp. But don't expect broom riding classes, I spent a week at MGEC camp last year and you know what I learned, one equation: ??x (if you can't appreciate that joke you're never going to survive MGEC camp).

But then one day you too will be a second year, and you'll have so much free time you won't even know what to do with it besides absolutely nothing. Walnut Walk was second nature this year because I'm too lazy to wear pants anymore anyway. The only major dilemma I have as a second year is that if I try to work any less, that will require me to try, which is a form of work, and that defeats the whole purpose. Without the obstacles of work and class, I've spent most of my second year drunker than a poet with a broken heart and a winning scratchers ticket. I don't even write this column anymore, it's outsourced to some really funny guy in upstate New York.

Meanwhile my school attendance record is spottier than Jackson Pollock's artwork. My schedule is so light I have less class than that first-year who sent out a picture of a stripper to all of Cohort C (nice move ace, now we all have to go back to diversity training again and that's going to require me to actually come to school). By the way, I didn't know Wharton had an exchange program with West Jersey Community College (unless you're just a townie who stole someone's email password, which is what most of us suspect). Maturity, that's yet another bonus that comes with second year status. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find my pants. Sarah, you are a silly stupid girl, but I guess they gave you a column anyway.



SHE SAID

You never forget your first

Sarah Weintraub (WG'09) Staff Writer

Second year is almost as boring as you are, Dave. I miss first year, the sweet ignorance of reliving one's youth. The excitement, exploration, adventure! Where have the glory days of first year gone when my tolerance was low, my liver clean, my knowledge of frameworks limited!

Key discoveries from first year: Out4Business and the Outdoors club are not the same organization (September). Wearing a mask at the Halloween party is even more valuable when you do the walk of shame the next morning (October). The only thing more awkward than falling asleep during class is remaining asleep after class has ended (November). There is a hole punch outside the first floor study lounge (December). There is a first floor study lounge (January). Wharton Professors don't really care about the poor quality of the Wharton cases, but the success of "Blue Ocean Strategy" is still a sore subject (February). There are actual Philadelphia residents and they don't think it's cute when you call them "townies" (March). Keggers are fun, CAGRs are not (April). Don't expect actual barbequed food at the BBQs on Koo Plaza (May). Key discoveries from second year: Nothing (September).

This year's social calendar was more like a yearbook than an invitation. Walnut Walk? Been there, done that, already have photos of you in your panties from last year, Dave, to prove it. Winter Ball? Prom was fun in high school. Then it was fun last year to pretend like we were back in High School. But now, I mean seriously, get over it.

Even with the whole threat of MGEC camp, first year has zero consequences. If you fail a class, you can just take it over again. In fact, the whole point of second year is to give you enough time to retake all the classes you failed last year. Ask this year's Cohort I, I'm in so many classes with them they voted me Leadership Rep.

Second year is like Sunday. Sure, it's the weekend and you have nothing to do but it lacks the total freedom of Saturday as the whole time you're thinking about how tomorrow is Monday and you have to go back to work.

I was hoping that as a second year I would at least have the fun of hazing the new first year class, but I lost the large locker lottery and if my finance book won't fit into the small locker, there's no way I can fit Cohort C's Ethic Rep. I also think maybe this year's class is less gullible as so far no one believes me when I tell them that the best way to get class participation is by starting the wave. But in case any first years are wondering how I got my summer internship, my rendition of "Thriller" at the BCG EIS was definitely the clincher.

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