Top 10 Tips to avoid Wharton Withdrawal over the Holidays
Dean Chen, WG '07
Issue date: 12/4/06 Section: Insider
10. To reproduce scintillating interactions with Penn students: 1) Go to local college bar, 2) strike up conversation with first undergrad coed in sight and 3) throw drink in own face.
9. Keep Thursday Pub tradition alive by head-butting malnourished six-year-olds at the local Chuck-E-Cheese's.
8. Take a home-school version of Leadership class: plop down on couch, turn on rerun of "The View" and promptly fall asleep. Upon awakening, go to bathroom and flush wad of $100s down toilet.
7. Simulate Philly streets by stopping all use of trashcans; accumulate mountain of festering garbage bags in backyard.
6. Instead of saying things like "excuse me", "sorry" and "have a nice day" to strangers, simply brandish your screwdriver menacingly.
5. Refuse to eat at sit-down restaurants. Build personal food truck by installing gas grill in trunk of family station wagon.
4. Communicate with friends and family exclusively through hastily-written skits and lewd songs.
3. Bring home the smell of Huntsman study rooms by emptying two-gallon jar of Kimchee into air-conditioning system.
2. Go to local Chili's; wave fistful of $1 dollar bills in greeter's face and insist on seeing the special basement magic show.
1. Cyberstalk outgoing Dean Pat Harker by flooding his myspace page with threatening/tearful videoblogs. Resign from Wharton; enroll in University of Delaware online-MBA program.
9. Keep Thursday Pub tradition alive by head-butting malnourished six-year-olds at the local Chuck-E-Cheese's.
8. Take a home-school version of Leadership class: plop down on couch, turn on rerun of "The View" and promptly fall asleep. Upon awakening, go to bathroom and flush wad of $100s down toilet.
7. Simulate Philly streets by stopping all use of trashcans; accumulate mountain of festering garbage bags in backyard.
6. Instead of saying things like "excuse me", "sorry" and "have a nice day" to strangers, simply brandish your screwdriver menacingly.
5. Refuse to eat at sit-down restaurants. Build personal food truck by installing gas grill in trunk of family station wagon.
4. Communicate with friends and family exclusively through hastily-written skits and lewd songs.
3. Bring home the smell of Huntsman study rooms by emptying two-gallon jar of Kimchee into air-conditioning system.
2. Go to local Chili's; wave fistful of $1 dollar bills in greeter's face and insist on seeing the special basement magic show.
1. Cyberstalk outgoing Dean Pat Harker by flooding his myspace page with threatening/tearful videoblogs. Resign from Wharton; enroll in University of Delaware online-MBA program.
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