Wharton Posers attempting to go from "Nerd" to "Playa"
Kerith Diley, WG'07
Issue date: 10/16/06 Section: Perspectives
Poser: n. Guy or gal trying to determine their identities and using Wharton as opportunity to re-brand as "playa"...but not succeeding at said re-branding effort.
The "stories:"
Former consultant who dated "models" pre-Wharton.
Ex-PE analyst is into "extreme" sports.
Former Goldman analyst who was "in a video."
A deep dive reveals:
The "models" donned MIT sweatshirts for the alumni magazine.
Boogie boarding is NOT extreme; it's for wimps who can't handle the rigors of surfing.
"The video" was her dancing to House of Pain's Jump Around at her cousin's wedding circa 2001.
In a nutshell, a Poser was not cool in high school (marching band, anyone?) or even college, and held relatively dorky jobs post-college. S/he made decent money and a workaholic lifestyle allowed 'em to save some money to enjoy B-school.
Combine that with time to travel to cool destinations or not needing to study because s/he was a banker and is taking Accounting 620 and Finance 601 (thanks, Grade "Disclosure!").
But, what every Whartonite should know is that the successful re-branding of former nerdy life into playa extraordinaire is virtually impossible. It's like Mondavi unsuccessfully chasing the Matrix, according to Global Strategy Professors.
Traditionally, re-branding efforts lead to Poser status. How can you spot a genuine Poser? Listen for the Top 5 Stories Wharton Posers Try to Get You to Buy:
1.Believes that Oldsmobile's "Not your father's Olds" marketing campaign was a brilliant success, just not launched in the right advertising channels. Ahem. Do I hear QC in Marketing 621? This campaign is a metaphor for Poser's transformation attempt.
2.Thinks East Coast people won't know that 90212 is Beverly Hills's zip code of disappointment. Excuse me: my sister, the Reverend Dilley-Gonzales, tells me that even country folks in Red Oak, Iowa know the show was Beverly Hills 90210.
3.Believes that s/he can hide the fact that s/he was an OPIM major an undergrad. Don't front that the only Monte Carlo simulation you've ever done was with that high-priced French "lady of the evening" at Jimmy'z Nightclub in Monaco.
4.Thinks that non-bankers will buy that, as an analyst, s/he and Warren Buffett single-handedly saved Salomon after Paul Mozer and the May Squeeze (yes, that's MAY, not "MAIN").
5.Thinks being a tree hugger is a competitive advantage. Stop expecting it to be effective dating decoy--this is NOT California. (Note to self: Commit to memory.)
P.S. In general, Californians are NOT posing. We really are playas. California-style. We just stand out as outliers in this godforsaken town.
California Poser Caveat: Californians who tell you they've got a "sitcom in development" or are about to "drop a music contract" are posing as Hollywood darlings.
Because...having a "sitcom in development" is a prerequisite to obtaining a driver's license in CA. So little of a whoop that true Californians don't talk about it…except those obnoxious OFECs (Originally From the East Coast) who don't understand the laws in the country of California...
The "stories:"
Former consultant who dated "models" pre-Wharton.
Ex-PE analyst is into "extreme" sports.
Former Goldman analyst who was "in a video."
A deep dive reveals:
The "models" donned MIT sweatshirts for the alumni magazine.
Boogie boarding is NOT extreme; it's for wimps who can't handle the rigors of surfing.
"The video" was her dancing to House of Pain's Jump Around at her cousin's wedding circa 2001.
In a nutshell, a Poser was not cool in high school (marching band, anyone?) or even college, and held relatively dorky jobs post-college. S/he made decent money and a workaholic lifestyle allowed 'em to save some money to enjoy B-school.
Combine that with time to travel to cool destinations or not needing to study because s/he was a banker and is taking Accounting 620 and Finance 601 (thanks, Grade "Disclosure!").
But, what every Whartonite should know is that the successful re-branding of former nerdy life into playa extraordinaire is virtually impossible. It's like Mondavi unsuccessfully chasing the Matrix, according to Global Strategy Professors.
Traditionally, re-branding efforts lead to Poser status. How can you spot a genuine Poser? Listen for the Top 5 Stories Wharton Posers Try to Get You to Buy:
1.Believes that Oldsmobile's "Not your father's Olds" marketing campaign was a brilliant success, just not launched in the right advertising channels. Ahem. Do I hear QC in Marketing 621? This campaign is a metaphor for Poser's transformation attempt.
2.Thinks East Coast people won't know that 90212 is Beverly Hills's zip code of disappointment. Excuse me: my sister, the Reverend Dilley-Gonzales, tells me that even country folks in Red Oak, Iowa know the show was Beverly Hills 90210.
3.Believes that s/he can hide the fact that s/he was an OPIM major an undergrad. Don't front that the only Monte Carlo simulation you've ever done was with that high-priced French "lady of the evening" at Jimmy'z Nightclub in Monaco.
4.Thinks that non-bankers will buy that, as an analyst, s/he and Warren Buffett single-handedly saved Salomon after Paul Mozer and the May Squeeze (yes, that's MAY, not "MAIN").
5.Thinks being a tree hugger is a competitive advantage. Stop expecting it to be effective dating decoy--this is NOT California. (Note to self: Commit to memory.)
P.S. In general, Californians are NOT posing. We really are playas. California-style. We just stand out as outliers in this godforsaken town.
California Poser Caveat: Californians who tell you they've got a "sitcom in development" or are about to "drop a music contract" are posing as Hollywood darlings.
Because...having a "sitcom in development" is a prerequisite to obtaining a driver's license in CA. So little of a whoop that true Californians don't talk about it…except those obnoxious OFECs (Originally From the East Coast) who don't understand the laws in the country of California...
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
cough
posted 10/16/06 @ 10:54 AM EST
6. My parents are rich and famous, and so am I, but [insert excuse], can you spot me on this dinner.
Post a Comment