Aussie hijacks wine board tasting, gets Americans drunk
Healy Jones and Jon Adler, WG'07
Issue date: 10/16/06 Section: Insider
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Jon Adler is on a mission. He's on a mission to help that poor, confused American bloke in the Australian aisle at the wine store. He's out to prove that Yellow Tail, or for that matter any label with a picture of a marsupial on it, isn't the be-all-end-all of Australian wines. He's aiming to get the Wine Club Board totally drunk. On the last point, he succeeded. As for the others... well, keep reading.
Jon Adler and I, as well as Michelle Shinn, Blair Schmicker, Camille Garriga, Chris Mendez and Andrew Rostami -- we are the people pouring the wine at the Wine Club events -- got together to try a few bottles picked out by Jon. At first we were concerned, as he showed up with a crazy look on his face and three bottles in brown paper bags.
But, we all know that Australians are a bit different, to put it politely, so we agreed to taste the "mystery" wines and try to guess what they were, where they were from and their prices. Since we didn't know what they were as he poured them, I'll refer to them as Wine 1, 2 and 3. (I know these aren't inventive names, but I'm an accounting major.)
Wine 1
This wine was a pleasant, dark red color, but looked a bit watery in the glass. I immediately pointed out an alcohol smell, at which point Jon said "Are you going to mention that every week? Is that some kind of a joke, or are you legitimately surprised that we are drinking an alcoholic beverage? It's wine, not juice." I decided not to say too much for a little bit. We all dove in and tasted the wine. It was clearly watery, with maybe a hint of licorice - on a good day.
However, today was not a good day. In fact, this wine sucked. Camille asked, incredulously, "Jon, do you usually drink wines like this, or is this worse than usual?" Chris was a bit more polite, saying there was no length on the fruit. Blair pointed out that this could be a good date wine for a girl you don't like that much, but want to get drunk.
He also agreed that the wine tasted like alcohol - and I felt good about piping in that the finish was of ethanol. Thankfully, none of us went blind. However, we were afraid to guess this wine's origins. We assumed it was Australian, because Jon had brought it.
Well, it turns out that this piece of crap was a Jacob's Creek, Barossa Valley, Australia, Shiraz, 2004. ($9.99) Michelle said it would be a good cheap bottle of wine, but it's not actually cheap enough. Andy must have been in a forgiving mood, or dizzy from the alcohol odors, and started calling this, in what sounded like a Scottish accent (think he was trying to do Australian) "it's an easy Aussie! Easy Aussie! Like that Aussie chick I met on a train back packing in Europe! Easy Aussie!"
Jacob's Creek supposedly exports more wine to the UK than any other Australian winery. Those stupid Brits. However, if you had a powerful food that could mask the rubbing alcohol flavor, like bbq, this wine might be ok. Otherwise... on to Wine 2!
Wine 2
An inky black red that left nice legs on the glass. Thanks, Jon, for the wankerish wine terms. Seriously, the wine did look really nice in the glass. There were clearly some musty mushroom or forest aromas. Vegetal, insisted Jon. Not vegetable. (Thanks for looking over my shoulder to make sure I could spell it, I know the difference. I know Americans invented Outback Steakhouse, but most of use learned English just as well as people in your country (although I agree with your point, that the Bloomin' Onion is neither a vegetable nor vegetal. In fact, I question if it's even organic in origin.)
The wine had a nice thickness, and Chris was first to mention a decent amount fruit with out any sweetness. The finish was long and tannic. Many of us enjoyed it, even Blair, although he said it was rather one dimensional, with fruit and tannins on the finish. No one had the heart to mention that was two dimensions. He went to Dartmouth undergrad, so he's not so great at math. We all pegged this as an American wine, since it didn't seem to have any of the sweetness we'd associate with an Australian Shiraz.
And we were wrong! It was Australian. Not only that, but we were blown away that this was also from Jacob's Creek! In fact, it was the Jacob's Creek, South Australia, Reserve Shiraz, 2003. ($12.99) For just two more dollars, you can get a pretty good bottle of wine from the winery that only seconds before had burned a hole in our delicate nasal passages! We'd clearly recommend this Shiraz to anyone about to eat a meaty dinner.
Wine 3
The final red was lighter red in color and had a pleasant, earthy smell. Michelle found rich black soil, like a freshly plowed field. Everyone giggled, until Andy went off on a totally unprompted tirade… it started out innocently enough, as he was laughing along with the rest of us about the earthiness of the wine. Then he started shouting "Middle Earth! It's from New Zealand, where are the hobbits? Hobbits!" Up until this point, we were all following along with him pretty well.
However, when he suddenly proclaimed that he was the Darth Vader of Wine Club, in a sinister voice, we lost him. I mean, what the hell does that even mean? Anyway, the wine was pretty well balanced, with a nice, lingering fruit finish. Jon was quite insistent that this final wine had a pomegranate finish. Chris wanted to disagree with Jon's choice of fruit, but Jon was positive it was pomegranate, god damn it, his family had a pomegranate tree in their back yard, don't you ever question it when he finds pomegranate in his wine. We were silent for a bit. In all, we liked the wine, and decided that it was probably from Australia.
Wahoo, we were right! It was Wolf Blass, Yellow Label Shiraz, South Australia, 2004. Jon pulled the receipt out of his George Costanza wallet and proclaimed that it was only $10.50. This wine is a good value. You should get some!
At this point in the evening, Jon pulled out a huge, 600 page manual on Australian wines and started to tell us about the Australian wine industry. More interestingly, he even had the 2007 edition of this wine guide, which is insane since this is only 2006. Either Australians have discovered how to time travel, or maybe time just works different down under. You never know.
But we do know that Jon knows a ton about Australian wines, and he will be buying the wines for Wine Club's October 18th social, so you should attend and get educated about the down under!
Jacob's Creek, South Australia, Reserve Shiraz, 2003.
Surprisingly good. Thick texture, bit of fruit but not sweet, great tannic finish. Good value! Enjoy with steak. ($12.99)
Wolf Blass, Yellow Label Shiraz, South Australia, 2004.
Earthy smell, good texture, balanced with a lingering pomegranate finish. ($10.50)
Jacob's Creek, Barossa Valley, Australia, Shiraz, 2004.
Ethanol smell and aftertaste. Not a lot of flavor, watery texture. Consume with bbq and KFC. ($9.99)
Jon Adler and I, as well as Michelle Shinn, Blair Schmicker, Camille Garriga, Chris Mendez and Andrew Rostami -- we are the people pouring the wine at the Wine Club events -- got together to try a few bottles picked out by Jon. At first we were concerned, as he showed up with a crazy look on his face and three bottles in brown paper bags.
But, we all know that Australians are a bit different, to put it politely, so we agreed to taste the "mystery" wines and try to guess what they were, where they were from and their prices. Since we didn't know what they were as he poured them, I'll refer to them as Wine 1, 2 and 3. (I know these aren't inventive names, but I'm an accounting major.)
Wine 1
This wine was a pleasant, dark red color, but looked a bit watery in the glass. I immediately pointed out an alcohol smell, at which point Jon said "Are you going to mention that every week? Is that some kind of a joke, or are you legitimately surprised that we are drinking an alcoholic beverage? It's wine, not juice." I decided not to say too much for a little bit. We all dove in and tasted the wine. It was clearly watery, with maybe a hint of licorice - on a good day.
However, today was not a good day. In fact, this wine sucked. Camille asked, incredulously, "Jon, do you usually drink wines like this, or is this worse than usual?" Chris was a bit more polite, saying there was no length on the fruit. Blair pointed out that this could be a good date wine for a girl you don't like that much, but want to get drunk.
He also agreed that the wine tasted like alcohol - and I felt good about piping in that the finish was of ethanol. Thankfully, none of us went blind. However, we were afraid to guess this wine's origins. We assumed it was Australian, because Jon had brought it.
Well, it turns out that this piece of crap was a Jacob's Creek, Barossa Valley, Australia, Shiraz, 2004. ($9.99) Michelle said it would be a good cheap bottle of wine, but it's not actually cheap enough. Andy must have been in a forgiving mood, or dizzy from the alcohol odors, and started calling this, in what sounded like a Scottish accent (think he was trying to do Australian) "it's an easy Aussie! Easy Aussie! Like that Aussie chick I met on a train back packing in Europe! Easy Aussie!"
Jacob's Creek supposedly exports more wine to the UK than any other Australian winery. Those stupid Brits. However, if you had a powerful food that could mask the rubbing alcohol flavor, like bbq, this wine might be ok. Otherwise... on to Wine 2!
Wine 2
An inky black red that left nice legs on the glass. Thanks, Jon, for the wankerish wine terms. Seriously, the wine did look really nice in the glass. There were clearly some musty mushroom or forest aromas. Vegetal, insisted Jon. Not vegetable. (Thanks for looking over my shoulder to make sure I could spell it, I know the difference. I know Americans invented Outback Steakhouse, but most of use learned English just as well as people in your country (although I agree with your point, that the Bloomin' Onion is neither a vegetable nor vegetal. In fact, I question if it's even organic in origin.)
The wine had a nice thickness, and Chris was first to mention a decent amount fruit with out any sweetness. The finish was long and tannic. Many of us enjoyed it, even Blair, although he said it was rather one dimensional, with fruit and tannins on the finish. No one had the heart to mention that was two dimensions. He went to Dartmouth undergrad, so he's not so great at math. We all pegged this as an American wine, since it didn't seem to have any of the sweetness we'd associate with an Australian Shiraz.
And we were wrong! It was Australian. Not only that, but we were blown away that this was also from Jacob's Creek! In fact, it was the Jacob's Creek, South Australia, Reserve Shiraz, 2003. ($12.99) For just two more dollars, you can get a pretty good bottle of wine from the winery that only seconds before had burned a hole in our delicate nasal passages! We'd clearly recommend this Shiraz to anyone about to eat a meaty dinner.
Wine 3
The final red was lighter red in color and had a pleasant, earthy smell. Michelle found rich black soil, like a freshly plowed field. Everyone giggled, until Andy went off on a totally unprompted tirade… it started out innocently enough, as he was laughing along with the rest of us about the earthiness of the wine. Then he started shouting "Middle Earth! It's from New Zealand, where are the hobbits? Hobbits!" Up until this point, we were all following along with him pretty well.
However, when he suddenly proclaimed that he was the Darth Vader of Wine Club, in a sinister voice, we lost him. I mean, what the hell does that even mean? Anyway, the wine was pretty well balanced, with a nice, lingering fruit finish. Jon was quite insistent that this final wine had a pomegranate finish. Chris wanted to disagree with Jon's choice of fruit, but Jon was positive it was pomegranate, god damn it, his family had a pomegranate tree in their back yard, don't you ever question it when he finds pomegranate in his wine. We were silent for a bit. In all, we liked the wine, and decided that it was probably from Australia.
Wahoo, we were right! It was Wolf Blass, Yellow Label Shiraz, South Australia, 2004. Jon pulled the receipt out of his George Costanza wallet and proclaimed that it was only $10.50. This wine is a good value. You should get some!
At this point in the evening, Jon pulled out a huge, 600 page manual on Australian wines and started to tell us about the Australian wine industry. More interestingly, he even had the 2007 edition of this wine guide, which is insane since this is only 2006. Either Australians have discovered how to time travel, or maybe time just works different down under. You never know.
But we do know that Jon knows a ton about Australian wines, and he will be buying the wines for Wine Club's October 18th social, so you should attend and get educated about the down under!
Jacob's Creek, South Australia, Reserve Shiraz, 2003.
Surprisingly good. Thick texture, bit of fruit but not sweet, great tannic finish. Good value! Enjoy with steak. ($12.99)
Wolf Blass, Yellow Label Shiraz, South Australia, 2004.
Earthy smell, good texture, balanced with a lingering pomegranate finish. ($10.50)
Jacob's Creek, Barossa Valley, Australia, Shiraz, 2004.
Ethanol smell and aftertaste. Not a lot of flavor, watery texture. Consume with bbq and KFC. ($9.99)
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