Hitchhiker's guide to Australia: the thunder down under

Matthew Conway, George Corey, and Jake Levin, WG'05

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Posted: 2/14/05

G'day mates! Greetings from the "Land Down Under!" As many of you may know, three of your fellow Whartonites (Matt Conway, George Corey and Jake Levin) are furthering their unique MBA learning experience in Sydney, Australia this semester. We are currently studying at the Australian Graduate School of Management (AGSM), which is the business school for both the University of New South Whales and the University of Sydney - undoubtedly the two best universities in the country, nay, the entire continent! We are three of approximately 30 exchange students among the 120 total students at AGSM. Yup, you guessed it, the word is out - Sydney is 80 degrees and sunny in January and the campus is closer to the beach than Wharton is to the Schuylkill River.

In the interest of providing yet another international perspective to the Wharton community (as if the five kids from your cohort who didn't speak English weren't enough), we intend to write our friends at the Wharton Journal a weekly column about our experiences here in Sydney.

Australian Culture
In a country founded by criminals, you would think we would fit in just fine - but learning the language posed the first challenge to our introduction to Australian culture. We've included a quick glossary here of some of the terms we've translated over the past few weeks:

Backpacker: a nineteen year old Swedish girl who spends four months in Sydney pretending to look for a job and hanging out (topless) on Bondi Beach.

Casino: Gambling venue with clocks, windows, clearly marked exits and drinks that cost money! (i.e. the total opposite of an American casino)

Footy: Any sort of sport that could possibly involve using your foot. Interchangeably used for rugby, Australian rules football and (sometimes) soccer.

Goldman Sachs: An unknown second tier investment bank that bought a local brokerage firm to get into the Sydney market. Currently, having its lunch eaten by MacQuarrie Corp.
Pissed: Drunk.

Oi!: Strange expression that Aussies randomly yell out to each other at bizarre times.

Rasher: Unit of bacon measurement. Example: "I'd like scrambled eggs with toast and two rashers of bacon."

Remedial Massage: No, this is not a massage from an unskilled masseuse. Also (to Jake's disappointment) not related to the more internationally known Thai or Swedish message, but rather a message with supposedly medicinal benefits.

Schooner: The Australian version of a pint, except smaller. The Aussies argue that the size is better because the beer stays cold. It's not better. A pint stays plenty cold if you drink it fast enough.

Tomato Sauce: Ketchup. This one really makes no sense since even the bottle says "ketchup,"but if you ask for ketchup at a restaurant the waitress will look at you like you have three heads (and likely charge you ASD 0.30).

Tipping: Doesn't exist in this country. Not at all. It's really amazing. We haven't been to the Australian equivalent of Wizzards (yet), but there may be some tipping there...not sure where to put the dollar coins.

Wallaby: Some sort of junior-sized kangaroo (we haven't seen any of those yet either).

A dingo ate your baby : not really sure on this one. We heard it on Seainfeld though, and the Aussies don't seem to like it, so we do.

Hungry Jacks: Australian version of Burger King. It is Burger King. Same Whopper, same chicken tenders, same burger logo. The slogan should be "It's all the same except the name." Also noteworthy is the McDonald's commercial where Ronald McDonald speaks with an Australian accent. Do not go out drinking and then watch this commercial - it will distort and destroy many of your childhood memories.

Uni: University. I know the abbreviation makes sense, but it's really tough to ask a cab driver to take you to the "uni" and keep a straight face.

One thing that has kept us from getting homesick is TV. Robert Stack said that Hollywood was America's greatest export - he was right. All the good shows (Desperate Housewives, CSI, SpongeBob Square Pants) are here, while the Australian imitations of ER, NYPD Blue and especially the game shows ("Let's Make a Deal" = "Deal or No Deal") are terrible. Jake and his brother used to make cheesy home videos of the neighbor's dog in a sweater with their Dad's 12-pound JVC camcorder and the quality was comparable (if not better).

Stay tuned for next week's topics: Academics (Surfing 101 & Introductory Swedish), a typical day in the life of the exchange student, and The Discovery Channel (a.k.a. funny looking Australian animals and the people they remind us of).