Wharton Journal

Issue date: 1/26/09 Section: News

When I first arrived at the Intaglio MBA leadership contest at India's oldest and most prestigious business school, IIMC (Indian Institute of Management Calcutta), I assumed I would be entering a subdued world of buttoned up numbers geeks. But it was only later, after everything had happened, after the motorcycle crash (only minor injuries), after the public beating (minor injuries again), after the 3:00 AM wake-up call telling me someone had died (they were just testing me), after my closest competitor gave me the very sweatshirt off his back as a goodbye gift, after every preconceived notion had long since been shattered to dust, I was faced with the fact that this school is the only MBA program I would ever consider for a semester abroad. It's true, these IIMC kids are damn good with numbers, but to leave it at that would be like saying that Wharton is just a finance school. Neither is true.

IIMC loves its secrets. And while the school has the grandest and most extraordinary secret I have ever heard, they made me swear on a stack of Hindu gods that I won't repeat anything. All I can say, and this is almost saying too much, is that IIMC has a secret society that makes Skull and Bones look like a special needs girl scout troop.

So here's the advice I am allowed to give to those of you who wish to participate in next winter break's Intaglio competition: First, if you wake up in the middle of the night because your building is on fire, go back to sleep, they are just trying to scare away the mosquitoes. Second, you can be sure that they will make you speak about very uncomfortable topics in front of a very large audience (is that not the soul of leadership?). Third, water dropped from a 55 gallon barrel located on the second floor of a building is strong enough to knock a man down, unless, he is protected by a team of compatriots holding a tarpaulin over his head. Fourth, expect the unexpected (I wore my clothes to sleep one night and by morning I was very glad I did). Fifth, if you see a crowd of people beating an unarmed student mercilessly with their shoes (and you will), don't interfere; the student is merely guilty of having a birthday, and after they shove his face into a birthday cake, strip him down to the waist and pelt him with sweet honey balls until he announces to the bloodthirsty crowd the names of the three girls he likes most at school, they will probably let him go. Sixth, the campus also happens to be a legitimate bird sanctuary, so when you're wearing a suit you also need to carry an umbrella to prevent being "blessed" by the bird gods (as they put it). Finally, if you make it to the final three and they interview you for the Indian national news, don't be like me and talk endlessly about how much you like the elephants you saw (one actually took a peanut out of my hand, amazing!). Remember, there are literally a billion people watching and you'll be representing the entire United States; thanks to my brilliant elephant insights, they think we're a nation of morons so you're going to have to undo some of that damage.

For more details on how to enter this insane competition that's one part Survivor, one part Apprentice, one part Jeopardy, one part Great Debaters, and 17 parts Animal House, I suggest contacting the Wharton India Club.

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